Hot Girl Summer is Over, What Now?

Labor Day has passed and it is officially the end of summer. I ended my summer where the theme of the summer originated—Houston, Texas. Shout out to Megan the Stallion! So what happens now that Hot Girl/Boy Summer is not in session? I think it is time to talk about something that is very real in the life of a millennial—commitment to the right person.

We are constantly falling in and out of love with the wrong people—or the right people. But we just do not know which is which. What do you do when you know you’re in love with someone, but because of our life goals or addiction to social media and having the new hot thing at our finger tips, we dismiss them for someone that we deem is better because of status. In my experience, it is normal to not put our time and energy in a person who might be the best person for us.

Does that sound toxic? Uh, yes.

But, what if we are missing out on what we really need in life by looking for the next big thing? We place financial and social stipulations (based off of Instagram stunt) on the people that we think we want to date. We have come to a time where we will ignore or deny someone who is not wearing a fire fit, has 10k+ followers, or driving the car we think we deserve to be picked up in. And when we get that person who fits that insane criteria, we are depressed because they end up ruining our life. What happened to simply just loving somebody for who they are?

I will be the first to admit, I am a guilty! I have said I will not marry someone who does not make a certain salary, live a certain lifestyle, or has a certain look that matches mine. But after a long and eventful hot boy summer, I cannot help but to think what if I am blocking my blessing by putting stipulations on something that should not be there?

I have come to a point in my life where playing games and going back and forth is getting tiring. And yes, I know I am young. . . but I am exhausted. I think we all can attest to dating for a long time. We are millennials, we’re over twenty (most of us) and we have had the opportunity to date a lot. I’ve dated, had relationships, and done so much in my 23 years that I am ready for a real relationship, while I am still young. I am a firm believer in relationships before marriage. Finding the one at a young age is beautiful, but I believe that to be the best partner you can be you have to commit to different types of personalities and backgrounds to know what works best for you. You need heartbreak and you need to break someone’s heart. Putting stipulations on a situation before it starts turns into a fairytale story that never happens because it’s not real.

Being in LA, I have realized a lot of people chase clout through “love.” Being interested in someone because they are in the industry or have a certain circle of influential friends is not uncommon here. But I believe exploring real life situations is where you grow. I’m not one for opening up about my personal life other than fashion and beauty; however, as hot boy/girl summer is ending, it’s time to have real conversations.

We are living in an era of City Girls swiping visas and A$AP Rocky wanting a woman to take him shopping. R&B is more about heartbreak than love, and hip-hop is about getting a bag and screwing over whoever is in the way. It’s fun for hot girl summer but it’s going to suck for winter nights and holiday mornings.

Like the hip-hop prophet, Drake, said “we live in a generation of not being in love and not being together/but we sure make it feel like we’re together/because were scared to see each other with somebody else.”

As fall approaches, lets take a deep dive into what we really want in a partner and forget about the external stuff.

Whew! That was quite a topic. Let me know how you feel in the comments below! Or write me if you just want to cry, I am always down for a good release.